Two Responses to The Resurrection: Joy vs Fear

So they departed quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples.

And behold, Jesus met them and said, "Hail!" And they came up and took hold of his feet and worshiped him.

Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid; go and tell my brethren to go to Galilee, and there they will see me."

While they were going, behold, some of the guard went into the city and told the chief priests all that had taken place.

And when they had assembled with the elders and taken counsel, they gave a sum of money to the soldiers

and said, "Tell people, `His disciples came by night and stole him away while we were asleep.'

And if this comes to the governor's ears, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble."

So they took the money and did as they were directed; and this story has been spread among the Jews to this day.

(Matthew 28: 8 - 15)

In the passage, the women, having heard the Great News from the Angel, quickly ran with GREAT joy, and yet with fear, despite the Angel’s comforting message, “Do not be afraid!”.

While they were running towards the disciples, Jesus met them. I imagine the experience of encountering the Resurrected Jesus was so profound for them that it banished all fear. And Jesus again said to them, the very familiar message, “Do not be afraid!”. They ran to tell the Great News towards the disciples with Great Joy, and we know the story continues for the next 2000 years and beyond.

On the other hand, some of the guards, encountering the same experience, responded the opposite. They did go and tell others about the news, however, they did so with Great Fear. They are afraid of the consequences of failing to guard the tomb, of losing their job, of the inner turmoil of being ‘in the wrong side’ so far, of the necessity to believe in Him. Such unnecessary things to be fearful for, when Jesus Christ has really risen from the dead, that is really a Joyful news. However, they chose to be overcome by great fear, a fear so great that they have to tell lies to hide the news. And we know the story next, that the lie is still circulating among the Jews to this day.

Among these two opposite responses, which camp do I belong to? the joyful ones or the fearful ones.

I remember attending a SMOTA LOGOS bible study lesson on Gospel of Matthew, conducted by Mark Hart (via DVD). It was the 8th (last) lesson of the series. The opening question of the lesson was remarkably impactful to me, “Does your life reflect the Resurrection of Jesus ?”

Mark Hart (via DVD) then made a point that the only reason for our life does not reflect the risen Christ is fear. It was quite a memorable question, because my answer to that question was ‘no’ when I know it should have been ‘yes’. I am afraid of what my family, friends, collegues or everybody might think of or say about me, being too naive, letting go of my possessions, facing a future with no securities and many other unnecessary things to be afraid of, when Jesus has risen from the dead.

The consequences of one’s fear is impeding their life from radiating the Resurrected Christ. When facing negative situation in their life or other people’s life, one often chooses despair instead of hope in Christ. When given the opportunity to share the Good News of Christ to others, one prefers to respect other people’s belief. When seeing other people receiving much blessing, one decides to envy and to forget that Jesus has also died for them. When facing piles of work to do, one chooses to blame and to forget that Jesus has carried the cross for them. When facing the boredom and monotony of life, one chooses to be restless and to forget that Jesus has risen from the dead and he has a far from completed mission for them.

Compared to the guards in the event of the resurrection, most of us are much better. I believe with all of my heart that Jesus is alive and I will not deny my belief and for sure, I will not tell lies to others that He is not really reason from the dead. However, if my life, actions, choices, decisions has no difference from those who do not believe.. or even worse than theirs.. I am giving a wrong impression that this is just a good news not THE Good News. That is just another great lie. Encountering the Risen Lord should be transforming one from dead to life, from mourning to joy, from fear to courage.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). Lord Jesus, help me to love You so much, fill my heart with love that it has no room for fear. Allow me to encounter You today and everyday, that my life may always reflect Your resurrection and gives hope to others, because You are alive and are victorious.

We are Easter people, and Alleluia is our song.

~ St. Augustine

HAPPY EASTER !

(Inspired by the Homily of Father Aloysius for Easter Monday)

Lent is a Journey (from Ashes to Easter)

Though Lent is a special season for Catholics, to me, it was never my most favorite season of the year. Usually, I spent Lent by fasting and abstaining and occasionally going to Church for Stations of the Cross (usually) on Fridays. Why Fridays? because it is the day Jesus died.

I often think, the more sacrifices (read: Fasting and Abstinence) I make during Lent, the more meaningful Lent will be for me. That is why, to my memory, my most meaningful Lent so far was two years ago, when I managed to abstain from Chili for the whole Lent Season, including on Sundays. If you know me well, you can roughly guess what an ordeal to me it was... simply excruciating.

After reading Pope Benedict XVI’s Ash Wednesday Catechesis transcript, I am again reminded that Lent is not just a period or duration of doing more than usual stuffs, Lent is a Journey. It is amusing that I often say and sing about but never really reflect on and live up “the Lenten Journey”.

I am so humbled that the reminder come from the Vicar of Christ himself. I happen to read it, and I happen to be invited as well. Yep, I am invited to have a “truly meaningful” Lenten Journey this year, and here I would like to invite others too.

When I think of the word Journey, I immediately think of two things involved in a journey. Firstly, journey involves movement/ progression from one place/state to another place/state. There is a start point and an end point, there is a sense of direction and purpose. Secondly, journey involves all the things experienced within that period of the movement. In other words, a journey does involves things done / experienced in a certain time period. But not only that, it is a purposeful period of time. The things done / experienced should lead us somewhere. Doing things without goal is simply meaningless.

What is this Lenten Journey about? Pope Benedict wonderfully sums it up in the following paragraph:
“Lent is a journey; it is to accompany Jesus who goes up to Jerusalem, the place of the fulfillment of the mystery of his passion, death and resurrection; it reminds us that the Christian life is a 'journey' to undertake, which consists not so much in a law to be observed but in the very person of Christ, who we must encounter, receive and follow.”

Our lifelong ongoing Christian journey’s aim is to die to ourselves so that Christ lives in us (Gal 2:20). During Lent season, we should aim to 'lessen' ourselves so that Christ can be 'more' in us.. that’s the goal.

Being a special season, a special journey, there are special things we can do / experience throughout lent that will help us to have more of Christ in us. The following are those things that I can find in Pope Benedict’s catechesis on (Ash) Wednesday’s public audience alone.

1. The Liturgy

“And it is above all in the liturgy, in participation in the holy mysteries, where we are led to undertake this journey with the Lord; it is putting ourselves in Jesus' school, reflecting on the events that brought us salvation, but not as a simple commemoration, a memory of past events. In the liturgical actions, where Christ makes himself present through the power of the Holy Spirit, those salvific events become actual.”

In this upcoming 5 Sundays of Lent preceding the Palm Sunday and the Holy Week, the readings are specifically chosen to help us progress in dying to self and rising with Christ. Pope Benedict further points that in this liturgical year, the readings are the great proclamation of what God does in the sacrament of Baptism. By journeying together with the catechumens expecting for baptism this coming Easter, we are reminded on a great mystery of our baptism, that we, “dead to sin, is made a participant in new life in Christ Risen and receives the Spirit of God that resurrected Jesus from the dead (cf. Romans 8:11).”

Pope Benedict further gave us a brief reflection on each of the Sunday reading, relating it to the catechumenate journey. All parishes in Singapore give FREE copies of Lenten Booklet (purple in color, entitled 'From Wilderness to the Waters of Life'). I think this will be a very helpful resource to help us reflect on the Sunday Readings during Lenten.

2. The Lenten Itinerary

“This Lenten itinerary that we are invited to follow is characterized, in the tradition of the Church, by some practices: fasting, almsgiving and prayer. “

Fasting is not to test how strong a person is or to practice self mastery per se. It can be very subtle, I thought by doing great sacrifices, such as abstaining from even a bit of chili, and doing it “for God”, I will please him. Well, it is not entirely wrong, if I did not rely only on my strength. Relying on my own, the best thing that I could do was to ‘repress’ my appetite. I managed to repress it for 40 days, but repression would eventually lead to indulgence some day... that explains why I am such a worse chili eater now than before.

God does not demand sacrifices, He demands mercy, and contrite heart, He will not reject. One’s sacrifices are acceptable only if it brings their heart closer to Him. Fasting / abstaining from food or from anything else (such as internet, movies, etc) is useful only if it leads one to abstain from Sin. How can this be possible? This is only possible when one reorders their desire towards God. If by fasting one puts God as superior to any other (even) good things that one is overwhelmed by God’s merciful Love, fasting will bring forth the desire to amend even the little mistakes.

Same thing applies to almsgiving. If we give some amount of money, grumbling, we should ask God’s grace to be detached from that amount of money and to be so overwhelmed by God’s love, so much so that we desire to share it with others, even by giving our own money so dear to us. This is not at all an excuse for not giving when we still grumble in our heart. We can pray for God’s grace and also put the money into the donation box. God can change our heart, especially if we ask for it.

3. Today

“There is a key word to which recourse is often taken in the liturgy to indicate this (that those salvific events become actual, through the Power of the Holy Spirit): the word ‘today’; and it must be understood in its original, not metaphorical sense. Today God reveals his law and lets us choose today between good and evil, between life and death (cf. Deuteronomy 30:19); today 'the Kingdom of God is at hand; repent, and believe in the Gospel' (Mark 1:15); today Christ died on Calvary and has resurrected from the dead; he has ascended to heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father; today we are given the Holy Spirit; today is the favorable time. To participate in the liturgy means, therefore, to submerge one's life in the mystery of Christ, in his permanent presence, to undertake a journey in which we enter into his death and resurrection to have life.”

The liturgical actions, including the proclamation of the Word, through the Power of the Holy Spirit, make Christ present in our life “today”. In some sense, the liturgy is extended beyond the rituals, it is actualized even in our daily living. The nourishment of Word of God daily is also important. And during this Lent season, we are invited to fall in love more (or again, if we have fallen out love) towards the daily scripture reflection. Pope Benedict rightly stated “He does not really fast who does not know how to nourish himself on the Word of God.”

During this Lent Season, it seems that we are living a life of self privation (from food, from delicacies, from internet, etc). The things that we “give up” are not necessarily bad things.. food, delicacies and internet are good. One can go as far as fasting or abstaining from something towards the entire Lent Season. Though it is not necessary, if this helps one to recognize God’s ultimate goodness above all created beings no matter how good they are, I think one should do so. If one is not able to do so, one should not feel guilty about it. Far more important than exterior sign is the interior reality of our commitment, with God's help, to abstain from evil and to live the Gospel, which we are called to live up daily. (This is not at all an excuse for not fasting on the days of fasting/ Fridays).

We are called to journey with Jesus daily. Jesus has given us the entry to unite our day to day journey, from the simplest breathing to the most complicated moments, with His journey of life, passion, death and resurrection. That entry is Grace, the divine participation and supernatural help, that is so abundantly dispensed to us at every single moment. That is why it is very important for us to examine our disposition of heart towards God and to cooperate with His grace daily, especially the grace of repentance, to re-embrace the participation into divine life, the life of grace. When we are under influence of grace, we have the power (given by Christ) to ‘Baptise’ every single moment. Thus, every passing moment is full of potential for sanctification.

Exteriorly, this 40 days of Lent looks like more sober than usual kind of days, due to fasting (belly privation) and almsgiving (pocket privation). However, if this belly and pocket privation helps us to be more aware of our longing for the thing that truly satisfied, we will be drawn more to God. Since we are getting in touch more with the needs of our Spirit and Soul, our core being, that can sometimes be obscured by our physical needs, we might be surprised that Lent Season is not so sober, it is a joyful season.

In any wonderful and good journey, one undergoes rich experience and is brought closer to the end point. I hope this Lenten Journey will bring all of us closer to our main goal. Finally, I want to echo Pope Benedict’s exhortation to my friends
“Dear friends, on this Lenten journey let us be careful to accept Christ's invitation to follow him in a more determined and coherent way, renewing the grace and commitments of our baptism, to abandon the old man that is in us and to clothe ourselves with Christ, so that renewed, we will reach Easter and be able to say with St. Paul, ‘It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me’ (Galatians 2:20). A good Lenten journey to you all! Thank you!”


Yep, have a good Lenten journey to you all! XD

Disturb Us, Oh Lord

Disturb us, Oh Lord,
when we are too well please with ourselves;
when our dreams have come true
because we have dreamt too little;
when we have arrived in safety
because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Oh Lord,
when with the abundance of things we possess
we have lost our thirst for the Water of Life;
when having fallen in love with time,
we cease to dream of eternity;
and in our efforts to build a new earth,
have allowed our vision for the New Heaven to grow dim.

Stir us, Oh Lord,
to dare more boldly,
to venture on wider seas,
where storms shall show Thy mastery,
when losing sight of land we shall find the stars.

In the name of Jesus Christ,
who pushed back the horizons of our hopes
and invited the brave to follow him.

Amen

Community: Crossing the Finish Line Together

This post is dedicated to all people in my life who have been God’s instrument in carving and shaping my life, especially to bunch of people who journey together with me in “the ULTIMATE race”. I called them, community.

One Saturday morning, I had a running appointment with two of my friends at Jurong Lake @LakeSide. Three of us share the same passion on running to different level of degree. Usually, when I run alone, I turn on my mp3 player and put my earplug on my ears. This time, I did not use my mp3 player.

People said that running can help them reflect on a lot of stuffs. After that running session, I realize that I can reflect more, with my mp3 player turnt off. So, during that run, I have a great time pondering running in a group as an analogy to the “whenever two or three people gathered in Thy Name” a.k.a Christian Community. It also awakens my awareness on how blessed I am for the gift of the Catholic Community I am in XD.

1. A good community motivates each other to endure

“ … and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.” (Hebrews 10:24)

Everyone can run solo. I often run alone. After certain distance, I sometimes feel bored. When I am not motivated and feeling exhausted ..plus.. nobody encourages me NOT to stop ... I will stop running, and then I walk. Once I am walking, the inertia to start running again is too huge to handle. That is why when I run alone, I have to use my mp3player. I need the music beat and the feedback of the pacing application installed on my iPhone to keep me motivated.

When I run together with my friends, I didn’t need my mp3player. I still turn on my running apps on my phone, but I do not need to put the ear plug on my ears and create my own world.

We are motivated by the presence of one another. The sense that we are together in doing this sustains us to continue running throughout, without stopping.

Just like running solo, many people say that they can grow spiritually without being in any community.. hmm, possible, but I am not one of these. I need the presence of other people to just journey together. Even if I can sustain myself by journeying alone, by relying on good spiritual readings, bible, prayers, just like I endure running alone with my mp3player or pacing apps, without community ... my growth is still incomplete. Only after experiencing “running together” I can then realize the things I would have missed if I only run alone.

Many things can only be experienced together while running, such as, being concerned to others’ progress, sharing the beauty of the scenery, giving encouragements, etc etc. Similarly, no good spiritual readings or any forms of prayers or any other self growth tool can substitute our needs of companions in the journey.. and vice versa.

Besides, community can teach us communal prayer, or even to deepen our personal prayer. While running together and not putting my earphone on my ears, I could listen to the chirping of the morning birds and be more present to the beauty of the lake and trees and the other runners or walkers along the track. The experience encourages me to appreciate the nature more even when I am running solo. Similarly, a good community is a good school of prayer, both for communal as well as personal prayer.

2. A good community drives the people towards the same vision

“Then Elisha prayed, and said, "O LORD, I pray thee, open his eyes that he may see." So the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw; and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.” (2 Kings 6:17)

Before we started running, I and my friends discussed on the finish line, whether we would like to go back to the starting line or finish somewhere else. We finally agreed to come back to the starting line, Chinese Garden MRT station. Now, there are different routes to go back to Chinese Garden MRT, one is longer and boring, another is shorter and more scenic. We chose the latter. So, everybody then knew their destination and the route to go through.

I have ran along the same route before, however the other two have not. Nevertheless, all of us are all set to reach the destination using the chosen route. When we went through the route, I tried my best to lead the way, since Jurong Lake is “my territory”, haha. After half way, I checked with them whether they prefered to detour to other shorter route, in case they were too tired; or to longer route, in case they felt the route was not challenging enough. But they seemed very determined to stick to the original plan.

A good community communicates its vision to the people and ensures everyone adopt it as their personal vision, meaning, each one desires to achieve that vision. In a good christian community, usually there are some people who are set apart to discern where are they in reaching the destination, they are the leaders of the community. These people are granted by God the grace to “see”, to envision. Like what Uncle Ben always says to Peter, “with great power comes great responsibility”. The leaders are responsible to remind the other people on the vision of the community. They have to pray that other people too may see. In the 2 Kings chapter 6, Prophet Elisha was with a young man when the enemy troops surrounded the city. The young man trembled in fear, but Prophet Elisha saw what the young man did not see. He then prayed to God that the young man too might see. The young man’s eyes were then opened and he could see God’s army, far greater in number than the enemy troops, protecting the city. Just like Elisha, good leaders should lead others towards the same vision, by making it theirs as well.

3. A good community enjoys the presence of one another but stays focus towards the vision

"We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing." (2 Thes 1:3)

While running together, it felt really weird if we did not interact. So, we talked, we joked, we laughed and it was really fun, until we started panting and running out of breath. Too much recreation while running can be a distraction and may take up some energy that is supposedly use for running.

Each person, to certain degree, needs acceptance and agreement. One can obtain these only from other people. Being In a wonderful community that is full of loving people, it is so hard not to feel attached towards the people. Community can be a place where one feel accepted and welcomed. Of course this is a good thing. We are not only physical and spiritual being, we too are emotional being.

A community living should not be bounded by regular prayer meetings alone. it is perfectly fine to occasionally have something "not too spiritual" for the sake of enjoying each other's presence. That being said, emotional bonding should always be accompanied by spiritual bonding.

St Paul praise the Thessalonians for their increasing faith and then for their great love to one another. An elder in my community once told us, "a good community plays hard, and prays harder".

Good things can sometimes be distractions for the greater good. This is why a good vision and its' frequent assessment are needed to minimize distractions.

4. A good community care for each other’s spiritual growth

“As Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Three of us have differing amount of stamina and endurance depending on years and regularity of training. There were times when we ran too fast, that one of us asked us to slow down. He could ask us to run ahead, leaving him running alone, but he didn’t. It took him extra humility to ask the rest to slow down to accompany him. So we reduced the speed a bit and he continued running as fast as he could.

In a community, in terms of spiritual life, some are more mature, some may have just started.
Regardless of this, all must help each other to grow. And, obviously, more is expected from the more mature ones. They should help those who struggle more.

Those who pray more should patiently spend some time to accompany the other and teach them how to pray, by praying together, of course to the level of the those learning how to pray. Those who have more experience in spiritual life should spend sometime to share their stories of and with God to the others.

I realize that this relationship should not be forced, not even by the leaders. Some community leaders assigned mentors to the younger ones in terms of spiritual life. Fine, so long as both, mentor and mentee, are willing to journey together, otherwise, “mentor”- “mentee” will just be labels for the persons. In my opinion (i emphasize .. in my opinion), it is not humble for someone to approach others and offering mentorship relationship, “do you want me to disciple you?”. Ok, Jesus can do that to the disciples, He is God.

I think, the most natural way is for the the “mentee” to approach people whose life has attracted him or her. Sometimes the temptation is for people to be discouraged looking at their own weaknesses and looking at the others' virtues, and come to conclusion that they are from different league. It can be a little bit uncomfortable at times to tell others, “hey, I feel you make me wants to grow in my relationship with God, can you help me?”. But, just do it. What I can say is that spiritual confidante is truly a wonderful thing to be sought after.

I m glad there are more mature people in my community that are always ready to give advise and share their stories (unless they are really really occupied). Amazingly they can relate to me even when i am at the pit. They offered me suggestions. But actually, by just witnessing their faithfulness from their stories, I am already inspired to be faithful.

5. A good community celebrates together at the Final Destination

"I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith." (2 Tim 4:7)

When we saw Chinese Garden MRT from the distance, we knew we are approaching. We ran faster and faster. When we reached the finish line, we felt so proud of each other. We congratulated one another. Though we felt tired, we felt fulfilled, mission accomplished and we had put all our best effort to accomplish it. To our hearts’ content, the one who asked us to slow down actually ran faster than me and the other friend, crossing the finish line first... Awesome!

Simply said, there will be great joy for everyone in the community when they cross the finish line, when they see that the vision of the community is realized.

Our practice session together is just one among many races that we join. For us, this is part of our preparation for the “real” race on the end of this year, Standard Chartered Marathon. There are many races, but there is one ULTIMATE race, the one that St Paul was referring to in his final goodbye message to Timothy. There are many finishing lines, vision statements, goals, whatever the name is, but there is only one ULTIMATE finishing line, Heaven.

I wonder, how the joy will be like for us when all brothers,sisters (myself included) in my community cross that one ULTIMATE finishing line... I can only imagine. That will be beyond joyful.

Living a Completed Life

I recently finished reading a book by Bishop Fulton J. Sheen entitled "the 7 Capital Sins". In this book, Bishop Sheen spoke about the 7 capital sins (angry, envy, lust, pride, gluttony, sloth and covetousness), one chapter for each. While reading, there were many moments that made me stop to ponder and reflect on certain parts. One of these was when I read the sixth chapter on Sloth. Inside this chapter, he used many of the parables and stories from the Gospel. One of them was about the poor widow's oferring. In this Gospel reading, Jesus saw the widow who put 2 copper coins (which is a very small amount) and the rich men who put huge amount of money into the love offering box. While observing these with his disciples, Jesus made a point that the rich men gave out of their abundance while the widow gave all she had and thus not only did what is obliged of her, but much more. Bishop Sheen added that she, the widow, had lived a completed life.

In this chapter, Bishop Sheen reminds us about the spiritual sloth and encourages us to live a completed life. Now the question is, what is a completed life? a life truly fulfiled. Does the completed life means a successful life? No, according to God's standard, no. Bishop Sheen mentioned the following in the book, "The world judges us by the results; Our Lord judges by the way we finish and fulfil our appointed task." I find this is something worth reflecting on, sharing and blogging about. I believe that I will not do justice to Bishop Sheen's thoughts by paraphrasing it. I do not think I can convey this much better than the way he does. So, take a deep breath, and read the following truth, a paragraph from his book (with emphasis added).

"In the Christian order it is not the important who are essential, nor those who do great things who are great. A king is no nobler in the sight of God than a peasant. The head of government with millions of troops at his command is no more precious in the sight of God than a paralyzed child. The former has greater opportunities for evil, but like the widow in the temple, if the child fulfils its task of resignation to the will of God more than the dictator fulfils his task of procuring social justice for the glory of God, then the child is greater. "God is no respecter of persons." Men and women are only actors on the stage of life. Why should he who plays the part of the rich man glory in his gold and rich table and consider himself better than him who plays the role of the beggar begging a crumb from his table? When the curtain goes down they are both men. So when God pulls down the curtain on the drama of the world's redemption, He will not ask what part we played, but only how well we played the role assigned to us. The Little Flower has said that one could save one's soul by picking up pins out of love of God. If we could create worlds and drop them into space from our finger tips, we would please God no more than by dropping a coin into a tin cup. It is not what is done, but why it is done that matters. A bootblack shining a pair of shoes inspired by a Divine motive is doing more good for this world tha all the Godless conventions the world could ever convene."

Before asking how to live a completed life? one should first ask, what is the role assigned to them.. and get this answered of course.

Know and Accept your Role

Looking at myself, knowing my role (as of now) is not really difficult. I am a child of God, a disciple of Christ, a daughter of the Church, a daughter of my lovely mami and papi, a sister of my beloved brother, a relative to my extended family members, a software engineer, a collegue, a friend to my friends, a member of my prayer group, a teacher of my Sunday School students, a parishioner, a Singapore Permanent Resident.

What is challenging for me is to accept my role(s). There are often times I feel I am too insignificant in this "stage of life". As a reaction to this feeling of insignificance, I started to desire to be someone I am not called to. I realize I often fell into this trap of wanting to do more to "increase" my importance. Sometimes, this is also true in the area of spirituality or ministry. Many times I do pious things, not because I love God, but because I want God to see me more. I also often adopt the voice of the world to judge my fulfilment by the quality of life I am living, the amount of money I generate, the number of countries I have ever visited. And of course, those make me focus my attention to produce "more outputs and numbers" instead of putting more of my heart in the things I am really called to do.

On the other hand, I also often fall into the opposite end of the error. When I am facing piles of "things to do" for my company, prayer group and my catechism class, I often felt how I wish to be insignificant. This is when I am tempted to look at the other people and scream (in my heart) towards them, "why can't you also work as hard as I do." This is when I judge others, out of pride, that they have not done their part, at least not as much as I have done, ha.. pride!

I learn to accept my roles. I realize God has assigned me a significant role to play, as myself, and I do not need to invent and create new roles for myself. At the same time, I am aware there much space and gap to filled in fulfilling my role well. After accepting our roles, the next question to answer is how to play the role assigned to us well?

Be Faithful in Small Matters

St Therese of Lisieux (the Little Flower), during her lifetime on earth, had great desire to "do more for God". She has found her vocation as a carmelite, but she wants to do something more. In her own words, "To be your Spouse, O Jesus, to be a Carmelite, by my union with you to be the mother of souls, should content me... yet it does not... Without doubt, these three priviliges are indeed my vocation: Carmelite, spouse, and mother. And yet I feel in myself other vocations—I feel myself called to be a soldier, priest, apostle, doctor of the church, martyr. Finally, I feel the need, the desire to perform all the most heroic deeds for you, Jesus... I feel in my soul the courage of a crusader, of a soldier for the Church, and I wish to die on the field of battle in defense of the Church..."

She found the answer to her own exasperation in the epistle of St Paul, 1 Cor 13, the famous passage about LOVE. Like a little child, she was too joyful to realize this great truth revealed only to the little ones like her. Again in her own words, "Then in the excess of my delirious joy, I cried out: “O Jesus, my Love, at last I have found my vocation, my vocation is Love!... Yes, I have found my place in the Church, and it is you, O my God, who have given me this place... in the heart of the Church, my Mother, I will be Love!.... Thus I shall be all things: thus my dream shall be realized!!!”

The secret of a completed life is LOVE.

"I have no other means of proving my love except by strewing flowers, that is to say, letting no little sacrifice pass, no look, no word--profiting by the littlest actions, and doing them out of love. I wish to suffer out of love and to rejoice out of love; thus I shall strew flowers before your throne."

I have read St Therese's autobiography more than once, I find her simplicity appealing to me. I wish to strew flowers and to pick up needles with great love. But after accepting my roles, I know there are other things I can do. I can code software, call and talk to my parents, clean up my house, comfort my friends, prepare catechism lessons, be present in a prayer meeting, and many other things.. with love. Honestly, I know not how to do these with love, but to remember God and say in my heart, "Jesus, I do this for you." Yes, I have done this some times... just a few times, and when I do this, I find meaning in those little things I do. I have to do this more often.

Just recently (the day before I wrote this post), a brother who is very inspired by St Therese, brother PaulusJoseph, gave a teaching session about St Therese of Lisieux, during an Emmaus Prayer Meeting. He multiple times repeated these words, "Let nothing escape from being offered up to Jesus."

I am not called only to do little things. I cannot escape from the responsibilities that come from the roles assigned to me, that includes to face challenges and difficulties. Yet, the same principle holds... in tacking these challenges I have to do this with LOVE. I am not called to solve all the problems even though they are my problems. I am not called to be successful, but to be faithful (Mother Theresa's saying that I like to quote and wish to live up). I am called to first rely on God's help and providence, do what I can .. to the best ability of mine, out of love and faithfulness, and submit the result to His Will.

After reflecting upon this, I look at my tasks differently. Instead of looking at them as things that are unfairly given to me, I saw them as ways for me to live my completed life. Bishop Sheen, the Little Flower, and Brother PaulusJoseph taught me to rejoice and not to complain. It was almost natural to complain about my busy-ness and to proclaim to the whole world, by tweeting or fb-ing, that I am busy. Now, there is something that restrain me from doing so, even though sometimes I slip and complain still.

My Completed Life .. as of now

People often translate "finding fulfilment in life" to "getting the best roles". The best roles often translate to more power, more riches but less responsibility, which I find contradicting.

Other people, myself included, many times think that "finding fulfilment in life" is to "find and live our vocation (in marriage or celibate life)." Which I still believe is true to certain extend. However, people are (myself included) often trapped in being anxious in seeking the "mysterious vocation" and neglecting those clear roles already assigned to them. And for me, these clear roles are a disciple, a child, a sibling, a relative, an employee and a friend. As of now, for me, living a completed life is to play the roles that I am aware of to the best ability that I can. Since I am still alive, of course my life is not completed YET. The Lord, the master of the stage of life, is free to assign more roles or even to take out some roles according to my faithfulness.

“The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’ His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’"
Matthew 25: 22 - 23

"None of us can do anything great on our own, but we can all do a small thing with great love" ~ Mother Theresa

The Rose is Back

Pearl Necklace


Once upon a time, in a little town, there lived a Father with his little sweet 5-year-old daughter. The daughter loved the Father so much. The Father loved her even more. They lived a simple living in a very small simple house. Despite of this, they lived an overtly happy and blissful life. Their love for each other was the source of their joy.

The Father dotted the little girl very much. Every year, on her birthday, the Father always gave her a special present. When the little girl turned five, the Father gave her a very pretty pearly necklace. Even though it was not made of genuine pearls, the necklace was so shiny. Even though she knew it was not made of genuine pearls, the girl loved it so much, she was so happy to receive such a gift.

She hugged her Father and kissed him. She then told her father, "Daddy, daddy, daddy ... thank you Daddy ... I want to give you something, please ask me anything, I will give you anything you want from me." She really meant it. In response to this childish offer of her daughter, the Father smiled at her, lovingly. The daughter smiled back at him..., "Oh, I love you so much, Daddy :D".

Ever since she received the necklace, she played with it everyday. She put the necklace on her neck and played princess. After she played with it, she put the necklace on her best container she specially reserved for the necklace.

One fine day, the Father came to the little girl's room and found the little girl happily played with the necklace in her hand. The Father lovingly asked her, "Child, didn't you tell me that you will give me anything I am asking you?" Hearing this, the child's face turned bright. "Surely Daddy, what do you want from me, come on, tell me! tell me!"


The Father's eyes were directed towards the necklace on her hand, and the little girl noticed. She held the pearly necklace tighter and hid it on her back... "I will give you anything ... anything, Daddy..." The Father slowly reached his right hand towards the little girl without moving his sight on the necklace behind her back.

The little girl started to cry... "I will give you anything.. but not this pearl. Please Daddy, I will give you the tiara or the golden dress or even the baby bear doll.. anything, but don't ask me this pearl..." She felt so sad upon knowing the Father's intention. The Father firmly asked, "Jeannie Dear, give me the necklace in your hand.. would you?".... The little girl sobbed.

All throughout, the Father's left hand was behind his back too. Little did the little girl know, her Father was hiding something for her, the most beautiful necklace made of the rare genuine pearls. The Father intended to give this necklace in replacement of the previous birthday present, the necklace made of fake pearls. However, the little girl must surrender the imitation to get the genuine pearls.

to be continued .........

~The story were originally told by Sr. Nancy Kellar in her Growth Seminar Talk Series~



Yeah ... The Rose is Back and she is very happy to be back