From Singapore to Fatima

Today, while browsing my hard disk, I found my old writings that help me to go back to some of my nostalgic moments. Here is one of them.

My pilgrimage to Fatima (Nov 3 - Nov 5, 2007)

Maggy Wrote:

Singapore, Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Fatima, a lovely place. Some people said that this is too small a city; ones can hardly find interesting things there. The only notable thing from Fatima is the Apparition of Mary to the 3 little children.

Well, may be that’s indeed the case. However for me, it was more than just extraordinary!!

How to start writing on the whole thing? It is hard for me to draw a line on when it all started. It was definitely not started on Nov 3, of course.

It was really like a drama, well, at least for me.

I was a rebellious kid toward my heavenly Mother. Not so much on my actions, but in my heart. I refused to love and to honor her. She was waiting for me though and I believe Jesus was not happy as well with the wall I built between me and her.

One day, almost 2 years ago, in front of the statue of Lady of Fatima outside SFA church, I made this honest prayer,

“Mother, I don’t love you and I don’t think I know you that much. But Jesus asked me to do so, and I know that I need you. So, please help me to love you and to know you. And I want to, one day, be able to honestly say to you that I love you, from my heart.”

Now I know that one can never be fully in love with Jesus if he or she is not fully in love with His mother. And my honest prayer was answered, in a greater way that I’ve never imagined before.

I even cannot mention any particular happenings that made me love her. I just… love her, like that. Last year, in the Church of Lady of Lourdes, before the statue of Lady or Lourdes (hope it’s a similar pattern, hope this means something, hehehe, like me going to Lourdes sometime), I felt that love towards her, and I really want to submit myself under her protection and intercession. I want to open myself for her love towards me.

Ever since, I felt like she taught me to pray the Hail Mary (I mean really praying it, not just merely saying it), the Rosary. She drew me to Jesus, to the Blessed Sacrament and Eucharist. My longing and appreciation for the Eucharist was added more and more and I believe that’s because of her intervention in my life.

She was the greatest comfort I have during my life as Ph.D student. Ok, now I don’t think this Ph.D life is that bad, but once I thought that it was a total mistake for me to take this decision.

And everytime I felt so down, I remembered that during my Ph.D time, I was drawn to love Mother… and that really really comforts me, and made me think it was not so bad (and indeed it is not so bad), Jesus gave me abounding Grace, more than sufficient for me, especially by letting me fall in love with Mary and open myself to her love and protection.